Afraid of change?

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Suddenly it hit me. What if my life was still the same in three years- by the next birthday to end in an “0.” That idea was scarier than letting go of what I had. So I let go. I turned the page.

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I don’t think you get into a relationship and realize you let parts of yourself go- it tends to be so gradual you don’t realize it’s happening until it’s too late. So now, I spend my days, my money, my time and my thoughts on those things I really love and trying those things that intrigue me. I spend more time at the dog rescue…I’m working with teens… I’m really enjoying country and bluegrass music…I’m going to all sorts of foodie events. And some days I stay home because I’m too tired.

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The first three or so months were a whirlwind. It was like a honeymoon and it was wonderful. It’s still pretty darn good, but the daily grind of regular life has set in. The dishes need to be done, the lawn has to be mowed…some semblance of a budget must be adhered to….

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But once again I am making the decisions and being the master (mistress?) of my own destiny. There’s no one else to blame but myself.  I collect these quotes not for the good days, but for those really, really hard days. They don’t magically go away. I still have days where I feel lonely and alone.. those days I’d give about anything for someone to hold me and let me know it will be alright.

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and of course,

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because

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One response to “Afraid of change?

  1. It’s better to feel occasionally lonely when living alone than completely alone when you’re with someone one. Been there, done that. The end of my relationship was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. Embrace this new chapter and live the heck out of it!

    Like

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